During college, I worked at the Manhattan club Scores, one of the most famous strip joints in the nation. It's not what you think. I earned tuition money by working the door, not the dance floor. I learned a lot from watching the gals who spent their evenings sliding down poles while wearing stilettos and thong undies.
The dancers were masters at the art of exuding sexual confidence. Off the stage, these were regular girls who hated their thighs and suffered from PMS like the rest of us. On stage, they deserved their reputations as some of the hottest girls in New York City. Those of us who have days when we feel less than sexy (and who doesn't?) can steal some of their tricks.
A note to the guys reading this: If your girlfriend will get naked only in pitch darkness or she has a "thing" about taking off her T-shirt at the beach, she may be in need of some confidence boosting. Instead of suggesting she read this article, a better plan may be to simply tell her that you think she's sexy. After all, it's always nice to hear a compliment from someone who isn't wearing a hard hat and work boots.
Rule 1: Flaunt What You've Got! Accentuate the positive. Everyone has a feature or body part that's sexy and alluring. Discover yours and work it. If you have a gorgeous hair, play it up so that the attention will be focused on your locks rather than some other part you're not that crazy about.
Show off your favorites. If you don't think you have any, look again. Did you consider your back, neck, or ankles? Strippers know that sexiness is largely the result of feeling good about your body and exuding a confident vibe.
Rule 2: Mystery Is Good Have you ever watched a stripper in action? Instead of taking it all off right away, she teases, leaving her audience wanting more. This is the perfect recipe for getting your partner aroused and ready for action. Give your partner a little taste of what's to come, but leave enough mystery so that he or she will be counting the hours until your next encounter.
Rule 3: Work It Out When the gals weren't up on stage, they could often be found in the gym. Not only did they have to keep their bodies in shape to squeeze into those tight outfits, they also realized that there's a link between working up a sweat and getting your audience worked up.
Take up a sport, hit the gym, go on a hike, or just take a cue from my stripper friends and dance around your room naked to your favorite music. When you've had a good workout, your endorphins start kicking in. That natural high will only boost your sex appeal.
Rule 4: Work Your Props Strippers are famous for their use of props, whether it's a feather boa, a strategically placed fan, or even a whip. But that's not the only kind of prop you should bring into the bedroom.
Investing in a few well-chosen sex toys such as a vibrator or a nifty pair of handcuffs can improve your sexual self-esteem. Hey, just walking into a sex shop is liberating and erotic, so imagine how you'll feel leaving the store with an entire bag of goodies. Once you get familiar with your body and how these toys can turn you on, you can tell your partner exactly what it is that floats your boat.
Rule 5: Get Groomed The girls at Scores were fanatical about grooming, and you would be too if your job description included lap dancing. For example, they were experts on hair removal. Not only is being smooth more aerodynamic, it also made them feel more comfortable up there on stage because they didn't have to worry about errant pubic or underarm hair (if your partner finds body hair sexy, you can ignore this tip). They were just as vigilant about keeping their nails (toes and fingers) groomed and glossy. And they never met a tanning bed they didn't like.
You don't have to follow their style guidelines (in fact, sun lamps should be avoided at all costs unless you want to end up with skin the texture of a football), but if you feel sexier when you perform a particular grooming ritual, by all means, pamper yourself. You and your partner will both benefit.