A Funny Thing Happened To Me While Depressed

Patient Expert

I have no explanation for this "

Last week, I spun into a depression. I have as many names for my depressions as an Eskimo has for snow. Let's call this one my dark-matter-of-the-universe depression. On a quantum level, my Higgs boson simply wasn't holding it together.

I felt myself sort of coming out of it yesterday morning, just in time to summon my energy and show up for a dental appointment. I know everyone nurtures fears about the dentist. As for me, think Dustin Hoffman in Marathon Man.

So here I was in my Marathon Man dental chair opening wide for Laurence Olivier. Was that a death ray being thrust into a cavity?

Okay, here's the crazy part. I felt myself totally relaxed, quasi-happy even. There was a complication in the procedure, involving more death ray probes, but this didn't rattle me. I became one with my music and enjoyed - yes, enjoyed - the experience.

This brings us into the realm of theoretical physics. Whatever was going on around me, being done to me, my Higgs boson was clearly pulling my quantum bits and pieces back together. I felt my depression lifting.

The release from depression's death grip is one of the most powerful on earth. It didn't matter that I was in a dental chair at the time. Deliverance is deliverance - go with it.

I'll leave it to Stephen Hawking to come up with the quantum explanation.

John McManamy is the award-winning author of Living Well With Depression and Bipolar Disorder.