Asked by Hope
Any Advice On Stopping Negative Thoughts When You First Get Up In The Morning
I find that i have negative thoughts first thing in the morning. This sometimes ruins my day. The medicine can only do so much. Since i was laid off from work it has been much worst.I have a family history of negative thoughts . My sister and myself have been affected by our mothers questioning of every decision we have made in our life. My father is laid back and supports us. My mother is a recovering alcoholic she has been sober for 15 years.She has trouble making decisions and sometimes never makes them.For example it took her 3 years and 15 estimates to get her roof replaced. She went without a car for 8 months because she could not make up her mind. I could go on and on.She thinks that people are going to take advantage of us when we decide to do something. In my sisters case she is frozen and does not make decisions she puts them off and gets more depressed. I will give you a quick example of something she said to me recently. I saved up some money to have my wood floors done. She called me and asked me what was new. I said i was thinking of having my floors done and found a highly regarded person to do this.She said maybe you should wait and where did you get this guy from. Her tone was negative questioning my decision making abilities. Now my question I decided to do this because it would make me do things. I would have a project and it would have to be done. It would be a scheduled job and give me structure. I want to do more things to make structure in my life this helps me.I am out of work and need structure.How do i counter negative voices that keep me frozen. How do i counter my mothers questioning of every decision i make. Do i tell her nothing? Your advice would be appreciated. Thankyou
I think this is a common problem you bring up. I do this too. When I wake up my mind feels like a race horse bounding at the gate to get out. A avalanche of negative thoughts can make you feel stuck.
Okay so you have highlighted what the negativity does to your mom and sister and you do not wish to be this way.
You need to separate your thoughts, feelings, and ideas from your family's. When you feel a negative thought approaching...think, "STOP" or "QUIET!" and then give yourself time to think of what you do want to do. Also...questioning..."Is this my problem?" can help...to remember that their criticisms are not your problem. They can say whatever they like but you do not have to internalize it.
A good therapist could help you with this process but in the meantime there is much written about it.
Here is a technique described which I call the "rubber band" technique but honestly I have never tried it.
And here is a big long article about how to stop these negative thoughts from beginning.
You ask great questions. Please keep writing and reaching out here and I hope this helps some.