My Bipolar Ex Gf Always Breaks Up With Me Spontaneously. Is This Normal?

Question

Asked by Matthew41430

My Bipolar Ex Gf Always Breaks Up With Me Spontaneously. Is This Normal?

We were together for 6 years. She's probably left me 10 or so times. She will be fine for long periods then suddenly she leaves and breaks my heart. It's always for the same reasons. Mainly that she feels depressed and doesn't know who she is anymore. "She needs to find herself," she says. Then we talk and she comes back. Except this time it's been a month. No matter what I do for her it's never good enough. I do so much for her but she will find one negative problem and obsess on that. It's like she never sees what I do for her. I make her breakfast and lunch everyday. Since I work nights I am napping in the evening and "never have supper ready." Which is true, but seriously? I do all the cleaning and she never has to lift a finger. Then I leave one dirty dish laying around and she says I'm lazy and can't pick up after myself. I hold her hand and open the door for her everywhere we go. Then one time I don't and she says I never do this or that and that I'm not showing her public affection. The list goes on... Two months before we dated she had her first manic episode and was diagnosed. She was on meds for a month but started feeling fine and never took them since. Two days after our last huge breakup she was sent to the state mental institution for going into mania. She's out now after 3 weeks and is taking meds but still wants nothing to do with me. I had to pack and move all her stuff because she refused to see me. This is the first time she's moved out. Could she still be a little messed up from her episode or are bipolar people back to normal after they're released?

Answer

Hi, Matthew. This is very hard on you. Relationships are tough enough to negotiate without bipolar adding yet another complication. But it sounds like here - bipolar or not - you are dealing with a very demanding and hard to please partner. Ask yourself - if the bipolar miraculously went away tomorrow, would she be just as demanding? How long are you willing to put up with that?.

Answered by John McManamy