How Can A Bipolar Husband Love You But Not Want To Be With You?

Question

Asked by mom2twins

How Can A Bipolar Husband Love You But Not Want To Be With You?

Hi, I have a similar post already but this is a more specific question. My husband of 20 years has just been diagnosed Bipolar 2. H left me 7 months ago to live with his parents. (there is no other woman, he does not take drugs or drink) My question is: He still loves me but does not want to come back home right now. He was placed on Depatoke 1 week ago. Can i start to see results soon? I am getting desperate ...i really do not know how much longer i can last without giving up hope.

Answer

Hi, Mom2twins. Short answer: After seven months, you're entitled to some answers. You shouldn't have to live in limbo like this.

Longer answer: Your husband's illness has probably put a huge dent in his self-esteem. He may be feeling stressed and totally inadequate and ashamed. On top of that, he may be extremely defensive and untrusting. I'm sure you have reached out to him many times, only to be rebuffed.

It tends to take a few weeks before one's meds start kicking in just right. It may take many more weeks to dial in the doses just right, or months if the first med isn't satisfactory. The best thing your husband has going for him is you. You may want to give it a little more time. But you also need to look after yourself, first.