My Boyfriend Has Paranoid Schizophrenia.

Question

Asked by concerned78

My Boyfriend Has Paranoid Schizophrenia.

He is 29 years old and for the past 7 months, our relationship has suffered dramatically. He only recently disclosed to me about the voice in his head, which he has now named. We talk about it sometimes and he thinks that he will go on meds, but, he has always hated any kind of meds at all. Our 2 year relationship is now down to every other day or so that we see each other. The reason for this is because he is always asking me the same questions about how he thinks i am going to hurt him (mentally). I have hurt him in the past and we have been trying to get past that, but it seems that every day is just getting worse for him. He has lost 30 lbs in the past year and does not like to eat. He has already lost one job and, because of his OCD, may lose his current one. I love him so much but I am also afraid of his "episodes", he has not physically hurt me, but mentally he has alot. The verbal abuse is more than I can handle but I don't want to give up on him. He has been seeing a dr for awhile now and seems to be understanding of his issues, however, with me, things don't seem to be getting better. When he has good days, things are wonderful and I am reminiscent of the past. But the bad days are really bad. He looks at me with such hate and disdain and tells me that the voice is telling him that I am lying and am going to hurt him. Then he will get really angry and say hurtful things and then storm out. Is there anything else I can do for him, and for myself? I haven't told anyone about this because I am afraid everyone will just tell me to run the other way, and I don't want to do that, because I love more than anything but I don't want to see him suffer or experience the bad days anymore. Thanks for your advice.

Answer

Hello concerned78,

First of all, your boyfriend needs to get treated with medication right away. If he's seeing a doctor who knows about his voices, I would consider the psychiatrist to border on committing malpractice for not having prescribed SZ medication already.

It is possible that he is treating you the way he does because of the symptoms and what goes on in his head, however, to simply look the other way when he abuses you is to give him permission to continue to abuse you for as long as you stay in the relationship with him. Make no mistake about it, if you do nothing, you have given him the idea that you accept his verbal abuse. Of course you don't want to be abused, so you need to tell him the terms under which you are willing to stay in the relationship: either he gets real help or there will be consequences. Those are the two choices I see right now that would help him and help you. I really don't see any benefit in things remaining status quo.

I must tell you that the longer your boyfriend goes without medication, if he truly has SZ or a related illness, the worse the outcome will be and he may never recover.

So now is the time to take action.

Offer to go with him to the psychiatrist and wait in the waiting area when he's prescribed the meds. Offer to go to couples counseling if both of you can afford that.

Respectfully,

Christina

Answered by Christina Bruni