My Boyfriend Recently Lost His Grandfather Last Tuesday, Ever Since Then, He's Been Shutting Me Out.

Question

Asked by Guitarlover816

My Boyfriend Recently Lost His Grandfather Last Tuesday, Ever Since Then, He's Been Shutting Me Out.

...barely texting me, and doesn't even want to see me, but told me just yesterday that he missed me. He's fine with his friends even though a few of them said that he's been acting differently. He hasn't said that we're broken up, but I'm confused as to whats going on. I know he's really depressed about it, and that I need to give him time, but how much time? He still has all my stuff and I don't want to lose him, but I'm at a loss. He tells me that he knows leaving me would be something he'd regret, but then he still doesn't keep contact with me at all...Is this just the grief from the loss of his grandfather? He goes to school in Cleveland and his grandfather was in Washington. He didn't get to go to the funeral and barely heard from his family over there. Help?

Answer

Hi, there. I'm sorry about your boyfriend and I do think he is grieving over his grandfather, maybe even more so since he wasn't able to attend the funeral. People heal at their own pace. I think you will have to take a "wait and see" attitude and decide for yourself how long you can wait for him. It really hasn't been long at all since his grandfather died, so I hope you can be patient and see how things fall out.

Sometimes there's not much we can do if the other person is determined to shut us out. If he becomes increasingly more distant, then it might be time to think about how you want to live YOUR life. Hopefully, he'll recover from this before too long, but it's obvious that his grandfather's death has changed something for him and it may not have anything to do with you.

Take care and let us know if we can help in any other way.