My Boyfriend Has Been Unemployed And Has Depression.

Question

Asked by eunnie11

My Boyfriend Has Been Unemployed And Has Depression.

My boyfriend quit his job and was unemployed for the first 5 months we were in a relationship. He had other stuff too like his grandmas passing (she was like a mom to him), legal stuff about the house and constant sickness. We started talking thru texts and he was self-pitying and calling himself names like pathetic etc etc. then he said i dont want to continue doing this to you. lets break up~ i will tell you in person too~ thats how i feel~". we were planning to meet on tuesday and saturday. but on tuesday he said he had an interview and said he was tired and told me that he will see me later. after that he was silent for two days. i went to his house on friday around 2pm and he wasnt there (or maybe he was avoiding me).. what can i do? is his depression getting worse? is the break up for real?

Answer

Hi, Eunnie. There is no clear answer for this. Often - normal or depressed - life overwhelms us and we need our space - a chance to breathe and lick our emotional wounds in private. Your boyfriend has clearly been through a lot. You may want to let him know that you totally understand his need to have time to himself (even if you don't) and that you're there for him and you will be checking in on him from time to time. In other words, don't write off the relationship just yet, give him space, keep the lines of communication open. But in the end, whether you two get back together depends on him. This you cannot control. I know how hard this must be on you, so make sure you are looking after yourself. Don't be afraid to reach out to friends.

Answered by John McManamy