I Can't Go To School. Help?

Question

Asked by LinderBunneh

I Can't Go To School. Help?

Hello everyone! My name is Linda, I am a 15 year old girl. I go to a self paced highschool(grade 10). To this date I haven't been to school in 3 straight weeks. It really started in the middle of grade 8. Before then I was the most cheerful, kind and upbeat person everyone knew according to them. Suddenly in the middle of my grade 8 year I wanted to stay home more, I felt sick more often, I got "hurt" often too. Because of this I would lie to my mom to make her think I was sick enough to stay home. I missed many many days that year. My teacher would always look at me dissapointed when I was there which made me uncomfortable. NONE THE LESS, I finished off my grade 8 year with honors! (Yay me hehe :)) I was even still cheery and smiley! Summer was fine and normal kind of boring like every summer I guess but it's ok! Grade 9 began and I was so EXTREMELY excited. They kept telling us we were the leaders of the school, yknow the role models! I was really really happy because year nine was the only ones who got a chance to be in the "leadership" class. The teacher who runs that class really liked me and since I had high grades I thought for sure I had a higher chance of getting in! The class was a privellge that only responsible students were supposed to get... That teacher gave me so much hope ... However, hope was a lie. I got my hopes up so high but when I walked in, my name was not on the list. Only the top "Italian" people in grade 9 were on that list (my junior high was run by Italians ... Stuck up snobby girls and boys who thought they were perfect.. And the soccer... Oh that damn soccer!... Sorry) as disappointed as I was I still felt happy because it was my last year and we were still role models. Plus I got a different class with a girl who I was beginning to get really close with! So the first 2-3 months went by and I noticed more and more changes in my bestfriend of 4 years (Lisa)... They were not good changes. We went from talking about the latest hockey match or our favorite thing(music) to talking about makeup and hair and... Ew just no. This is where that other girl I was getting close to comes in guys! (Sorry for the long story I just wanna make sure you have every detail I can think of!) so that girl (Mariel- who is my bestfriend today) and I became really close thru our foods and fashion class. We found out we liked the same things disliked the same things.. Etc. however she would miss a few classes once in a while to go with a teachers aid somewhere (I didn't know where at the time) it confused me but I thought nothing of it . Over time that year Lisa became close with the other girly nerds in my class that no one really liked. She had a few friends in the "Italian" group from other schools so she was liked by almost everyone. Her and I used to be able to talk and hug all the time but that never happened anymore. I tried to fit in with her new group too! I really did! I even started painting my nails and buying fashion magazines (ew) I thought they liked me! But one day that changed. Lisa one day asked me if I was going to this birthday party of one of the girls. I knew nothing about it.... So when Lisa asked the girl(she became really close with one in particular and that made me jealous... Damn you Emily) she told her that because the party was shopping at the big mall in my city she thought I wouldn't be interested. Lisa agreed and went to the party anyway. But I heard what they said behind my back often. They talked about how I must be really poor not to be able to wear brand name clothes and buy makeup often. Then they bad mouthed my family (which is something I can't tolerate EVER) saying my dad and mom are white trash. I confronted Lisa about it but she never believed me and to this day doesn't. Naturally I branched away from them (I have no self confidence and can never stand up for myself ..) and started hanging out with Mariel and her friends. I am white... I mean like really white haha I don't tan no matter what! Mariel is a Filipino her friends are all Asian of some sort. I was the only white girl in the group but they accept me. Even today we all meet up and hang out :) I love them truly. The only thing is ... The others. Everyone I knew used to talk behind my back about how I was a "wannabe Asian" and how I don't belong. Everyone had already teased me for 3 years about this crush I had on a guy who was my best guy friend. Someone found out and spread it. Sorry for all the teasing you received too Joe. I mean it. So I was getting. Used to teasing. After Christmas I was being teased about how I was late almost every day to class and how I am weird that I don't come often. My teacher that year (that jerk) used to laugh and when he would've thru attendance he would say oh who's Linda? Or is she actually here today? ONTIME? That hurt a lot you jerk I hope you know that. Either way I finished grade nine with my new Friends and once again passed with honors! (Yay! Again...) That summer (last summer) Lisa moved away ... All the way to New York... I know it shouldn't have bothered me being that we weren't all that close towards the end. But Lisa was kind of like the blanket that had been there for 4 years. So I was depressed for a while. I still kind of miss her and want to see her face just once. No matter how much she changed I still know the real her. Basically I miss the old her not the new one who left. Anyway This summer I did absolutely nothing. I would sleep from 7am-4pm almost everyday. Mariel and I had these amazing Skype calls from as soon as we woke up to 5 mins before we fell asleep :) they were awesome. One thing you need to know that I forgot to mention is that I love Korea... Haha korean music korean dramas korean food the language ... Everything. It's kind of an obsession honestly. Well this summer Mariel got into that too with me! We watched dramas together fangirled at new kpop music together (all thru skype) everyday! (Still do

Answer

Hi, there, Linda. It sounds like you've been having a rough time with friends this last year or so. Can you talk to a school counselor or a mental health professional to see if you might be clinically depressed? The other thing is that having someone to talk to about this stuff can help you sort out what's important to you. As we get to be adults, we find that a lot of our friends can change and we no longer have as many things in common. Sometimes we think people are talking about us - but the truth is, most people are so worried about themselves and what people think about THEM that they probably aren't spending as much time discussing you as you might think. It's important that you try to find help to get back to school. What do your parents say about this? Are they okay with you missing all this school? If you were my daughter, I'd be taking you to a doctor for a physical and then, if everything is medically okay, to a psychologist because it's serious when you can't go to school. If you're not in school, you should be getting help, just like you would if you had any other illness. You need help with coping skills and how to value yourself.

I was depressed when I was your age, even younger, and wish I had been able to get help back then. Please talk to somebody, reach out for help. Let us know what you're going to do, okay?