Asked by Furgo
Chronic Crier? Is It Anxiety, Depression Or Something Else
I have been a crier all my life. When something upsets me, when I become angry or when I am overwhelmed/frustrated I break out in tears. And when I am done crying, I feel better physically but am annoyed that I cried for something that was not really worth the display of emotion. I would have mood swings sometimes or become irritable over little things. I can cry when my brother tells me he loves me or when I become angry or when I am upset over something. It takes me a little bit to regroup but again, once I am done I feel better. But if someone asks me how I am, I cry all over again. For example, my workload has changed in the past year. A co-worker was given a promotion ahead of me and it was a shock. I took time to realize that while I was a good worker, my attendance was an issue. I sucked it up and worked really hard on improving that problem. About 4 months later, I was pulled aside and told I would be taking the position over. My immediate thought was how will she react. Things were ok at first but then attitudes from 2 co-workers developed. In addition to the duties we all performed, I had additional responsibilites from the new position. Over time, they stopped casual chatting, made snide comments verbally or through e-mail and I would just sit them aside. When we have meetings, it's constant finger pointing from the 2 co-workers usually toward myself or another co-worker. I realize it for what it is, jealousy and insecurity. While I am back at my desk working my butt off, I hear them constantly chatting and laughing and cracking jokes. I try not to listen because it makes me feel annoyed. This past week, I had an episode where I was overwhelmed the minute I hit the door. I had worked from home for several hours to try and stay on top of my work. I vented my frustration to someone that I work for as an assistant. She became concerned that this would make me want to leave and forwarded to our boss. It trickled down to my manager who came to check on me. Up to this point I had not cried! But when he came to my desk, I was still frustrated and when he talked to me, I broke down in tears. I tried to refocus on work but when our boss came over, she saw my face and I just became a huge mess of tears. We went into her office and I just crumbled and cried to the point of where I could not catch my breath. And that was embarassing!!! I explained my frustration over being buried in work, I showed the emails and notes from the 2 co-workers and explained my frustration of how I was expected to maintain my workload as an assistant and maintain my new duties also while contributing to a pool of duties I shared with the 2 co-workers and another. I know the things that were bothering me were not worth the amount of tears I cried. And I know that the 2 co-workers have issues stemming from poor job performance, insecurities and jealousy. And while I know this I can not control the tears. I went on lexpro a few years ago after I had what the doctors called an anxiety attack. I was under tremendous stress personally. My mother was diagnosed with lung and brain cancer and I had been dealing with issues from a deteriorating relationship with my infant daughters dad. The lexapro reduced the irritability and mood swings and the extreme crying seemed to be spaced at further intervals. I just don't understand why I cry so much, so often over little things. I don't recall any traumatic events other than having lots of surgery when I was little to rebuild my hip. Other than that my life has been ok. I am for the most part in a good mood. Help me understand why I cry and how to fix it! I am almost 40 years old, and want to stop. Thanks in advance...
Thanks for your question and welcome to ADHDCentral.com.
I don't think you are alone, many people cry as a way to show emotion and cry easily. It seems to be a release of intense emotions. According to Scienceline:
"Studies have shown that emotional tears contain more manganese, an element that affects temperament, and more prolactin, a hormone that regulates milk production. Sobbing out manganese and prolactin is thought to relieve tension by balancing the body's stress levels and eliminating build ups of the chemicals, making the crier feel better."
Also, on PsychCentral.com, there is a blog written by a mental health counselor that has come to terms with her crying:
I hope these articles give you a sense that you are not alone with this.