Come again?

Patient Expert


In a sometimes-futile attempt to keep up to date with diabetes news, I scan at least the titles of about 40 blogs every day, plus the table of contents from almost 40 scientific journals when they come out. Diabetes news is coming so fast and furiously these days that it's sometimes really overwhelming, and I need to take a break to laugh.

Sometimes the titles of news reports do just that for me. Here are a few of them, along with my thoughts in italic:

Difference Between Fish and Humans

Um, actually, I don't need a scientific study to figure that one out.

US -- Russia Polar Bear Treaty ratified

We're having so much trouble getting along with other nations. I'm glad at least the polar bears are making peace.

Endangered Wild Ox Given Lifeline

Isn't that one of those things you wear around your neck so you can say, "Help I've fallen and a lion is eating me."

Mental Disorders Are Disorders of the Brain

Ah, that explains it. I always thought they were ankle diseases.

No Sunglasses Required for Fish Dinner

And just when I'd spent $75 on prescription lenses so I could dine out at Fish R Us.

Parasites Might Spur Evolution of Strange Amphibian Breeding Habits

I wonder if it could also explain human singles bars.

Male Birth Control Pill Stops Sperm in Brain

I never realized that sperm in the brain was a big problem.

Genes Identified to Protect Broccoli, Cabbage, Other Brassicas From Damaging Virus

We can't cure the the common cold , but we're on to something for broccoli.

Whitefly Secrets To Success: How To Become One Of The World's Top Invasive Species

I thought it was only people who thought that way.

Benefits of 80 Million Years Without Sex

And I thought I had problems.