Crush on Married Client?

Community Member

** Dear Miss A,**** I love your blog!   I want to date a client of my firm. He's not a client of mine so I don't have much interaction with him.   He has a 4 year old son, and was married at one time.   He is under 35, but doesn't wear a wedding ring.   In the year I've known him, I don't recall seeing him wear a ring.   Is it safe to assume he's not married anymore?   I know some married men don't wear rings, but generally younger married men do.   Is there a way to figure it out without having to "ask about his wife", which is so obvious in my opinion.   Also, he hasn't mentioned a wife, just the son.   Any thoughts you can provide will be greatly appreciated.**** Good luck with the launch of your business.**** Thank you!**

- Firmly Infatuated

Dear Firmly Infatuated,

Ah, yes! The men who still cling to the belief  that they shouldn't wear jewelry - even a simple wedding band! My last boyfriend told me that he wouldn't wear a ring, if we got married. I tried my best to persuade him that he should. I told him that wearing a wedding band is a symbol which would show the world that he was married, in the same way that men in the military wear  "dog tags".  What's the saying about love and war? Any case, he wasn't convinced.

It sounds like your sensing something isn't right, and that he may in fact still be married. Honey, where there's smoke, there's fire! Pay attention to your instincts! They'll save you. With Washington  being such a "small town" and with all the information available to you on the internet, I'm shocked that you're having trouble finding out if he's married. Certainly, you could ask around, "Google him", or even go so far as to have a background check done on the guy.

But before you go doing any of those things, I think that the real question is, "Does he want to date you?"  I feel like if he did want to date you, you would have had an opportunity  to learn more about him from him.   It sounds to me like you may be admiring this gentleman from afar, because you say you  "don't have much interaction with him". If you were going on actual dates with the guy, I'm suspect he would open up. One reason he may not be asking you out is because he is still married. The other reason he may not  be asking you out is because he's married.  Either way, I am against chasing a man, especially a married one!  Let him pursue you, if he wants. And if he doesn't want,  so be it.

Please email me again, and keep me posted on what you find out!   We love getting updates!

  • Miss A