How To Deal With Someone With Hypomania

Question

Asked by nikid

How To Deal With Someone With Hypomania

i believe i am dating a man with hypomania, one momement he is being really sweet to me and in the split of a second I could ask a question and he will start yelling and blow up on me. How do I deal with him he is a very moody person. One moment he is having a good time and his nice and within minutes of something not going his way is he is angy and upset. Help!!

Answer

Hi, Nikid. I have bipolar. My former wife has bipolar. I am dating a woman with bipolar.

First, don't feel you have to put up with someone who blows up on you. This is a form of abuse. You need to look after yourself first.

Having said that, if you want to make this work, you need to lay down firm boundaries that he is not allowed to cross, such as blowing up at you - the illness is no excuse. If he can't handle himself, he has no right to be in a relationship.

Then you need to have serious conversations about what sets him off, his triggers. Some of it probably relates to things you do - such as maybe showing up late. This is a hypothetical. Say you're 20 minutes late and you don't call. He gets anxious, his thoughts start racing, he gets stressed, then distressed. You show up, he blows up.

In that situation, it is advisable for you to change your behavior.

Often, in certain situations, we feel that we are all alone and no one in the world understands us. Sometimes, a simple "I appreciate how frustrated you must feel" can work wonders.

There will be situations where he needs to change his behavior. Maybe he needs to learn to pay his bills on time. Maybe he needs to learn to get a decent night's sleep or not tie himself up in knots about work.

Also, he needs to give you a heads-up about his bad hair days. He needs to tell you, for instance, "I've got a bad situation at work and I'm not handling it very well." That's your cue to give him a very wide berth.

Living with someone with bipolar is a considerable challenge. It can also be a very rewarding experience. Relationships are hard work, even for normal people. You have your work cut out for you.

Answered by John McManamy