Did Depression Cause Our Breakup?

Question

Asked by PrettyMel

Did Depression Cause Our Breakup?

My boyfriend just broke up with me, saying he was depressed and he needed a break up so he could "sort some stuff out in his head." He insists the problem isn't between the two of us but due to depression. I'm so confused. What should I do?

Answer

I realize this is a huge shock, but his depression isn't a reaction to you. He's so caught in a downward spiral of bad feeling that he likely has trouble see anything from your point of view. If you press him now for definite answers about how he feels toward you, you won't get much in return - depression is consuming his mind and feelings when it's really bad.

If he won't get help, then there isn't much hope that he'll get rid of depression on his own and get back to his old self.  In the meantime, you could take a lot of punishment and frustration. The hard truth is that there's not much you can do. Urging him to get help and offering love and support is about it. But you also need to remind him and yourself that there's only so much you can take. Please look after your own health - many in your situation wind up depressed themselves, and you want to avoid that.

Here are some articles you might useful:

10 Ways Depression Will Change You

Getting Your Depressed Partner to Communicate

7 Ways to Beat the Blues  

Answered by John Folk-Williams