Did Depression Cause My Girlfriend To Break Up With Me?

Question

Asked by sindalia

Did Depression Cause My Girlfriend To Break Up With Me?

My girlfriend broke up with me out of nowhere, telling me she didn't feel that we were compatible and that she needed to be alone to sort out her depression. We had been together a year and I always tried being supportive with her depression. She told me during the breakup that she needs this right now, that she loves me, and that it isn't as black and white as I may think. I'm wondering if it would be selfish of me to wait a month and send her a kind message. She said that if Ii tried to contact her, she probably wouldn't mind that. What do you think?

Answer

It isn't uncommon for depressed people to retreat.   What I'm wondering is if she is getting any therapy for her depression.  She says she wouldn't mind hearing from her, so if you feel like you want to contact her in time, I'd go for it, but I'd also try not to expect much to happen because of it.   In the meantime, you need to take care of yourself.   You might want to find someone to talk to about this, maybe a therapist.

There's a blog that you might find helpful, called Storied Mind, written by John Folk-Williams.   He's not a medical professional, but has lived with and researched depression, particularly in regard to relationships.   He's a wonderful writer and his site has a wealth of information.

Here are some other articles you might find useful as well.

10 Ways Depression Will Change You

Getting Your Depressed Partner to Communicate

7 Ways to Beat the Blues