Is My Depression Causing Me To 'Lose' Love Or Has 'Losing' Love Caused My Depression? Anybody Feeling Similar Fears?

Question

Asked by ElephantEars

Is My Depression Causing Me To 'Lose' Love Or Has 'Losing' Love Caused My Depression? Anybody Feeling Similar Fears?

Since the day of my 19th birthday I haven't been myself. On a lovely holiday, i cried every day with horrible chest pains and what felt like a thumping heart; I lost all interest for food, sex, reading, music and other fun... Everything you expect to love on holiday. After three weeks I began antidepressents, my GP diagnosed me with major depression disorder. What felt like a switch in my body since the start of my depression and anxiety my main fear is falling out of love, I feel as though I've 'lost' that feeling with my amazing boyfriend that I've had for a long time now. The lost feeling makes me cry and cry for hours. Just under 4 weeks of antidepressants and I'm starting to enjoy myself again in little ways like listening to music but still my fears surrounding me (university, my life choices and in particular my boyfriend) still exist. I've spoken to him very openly and honestly and we've spent time apart... he's been amazing and I miss missing him so much. Has anybody suffered similar terrible fears? Has 'falling out of love' caused my depression unknowingly? I care about him deeply but have lost interest in the one thing I was so sure of before. Can anybody kindly offer any advice for me? I feel as though I'm grieving for something I haven't lost, awfully exhausted. Thank you

Answer

Hi, there. I'm glad you're being treated for your depression. Complete remission can take a while, though, and it's not uncommon to have some degree of "numbness" while depressed. What does your doctor think? The fact that lack of feeling for your boyfriend bothers you might indicate that you haven't just simply fallen out of love with him but that the depression is affecting your relationship. Are you in any kind of therapy? That would be a great thing to be doing so that you can discuss this stuff with somebody who's a professional and who can help you figure it out. Since it's not the case that your boyfriend left you, I doubt very much that your depression was caused by losing love. It's important that you continue seeing your doctor and I would encourage you to get some counseling. I wish you all the best and hope that you're soon feeling better.