Does Being Bipolar Mute Your Ability To Feel Love? I Feel Very Out Of Touch.

Question

Asked by fkrieger

Does Being Bipolar Mute Your Ability To Feel Love? I Feel Very Out Of Touch.

I have come out of a three year relationship where I ended it because I cannot seem to feel love. I know that I was very loved from my girlfriend however. I "feel" love from her, but it is so muted, it is though there is a door that it is stuck behind.

I am not medicated, I suffer long bouts of depression with a short periods of being very very manic (not so much as to be non-functional).

Thoughts?

Answer

Hi, fkrieger. A few possibilities:

1. You may have been with a partner who did nothing for you emotionally. You may have wanted and waited to fall in love with her, but it didn't happen. It may happen with another woman.

2. You may have experienced very intense emotions at the beginning of the relationship, including strong feelings of attraction and desire. These feelings tend to diminish as the relationship progresses and settles down. Enduring affection is far less intense than the impassioned attraction early on, and involves different brain systems. You may have settled into a quieter love without knowing it. You may grow to appreciate this quieter love.

3. Your depression could have a lot to do with it. On one hand, depression may be too much emotion, such as too much sadness. On the other, depression may be too little, such as not enough joy. In this joyless state, it is very easy to lose our capacity to care and to experience love. If this is the case, you need to talk to a pdoc about treating your bipolar depression.

Only you will be able to determine which is the correct answer. It may be none of the above. It may be a bit of all of the above. You sound like a person who is truly interested in "knowing thyself," so your journey of introspection and soul-searching is bound to be a very healing and revealing one for you, no matter where it may take you.

Also, please do not hesitate to look to your friends for guidance, and keep checking in here. Hope this helps -