Girlfriend Is Depressed And Doesn't Want Me Anymore.

Question

Asked by bjashton

Girlfriend Is Depressed And Doesn't Want Me Anymore.

I need help please. My girlfriend of 14 months is depressed and pushing me away. She and I were inseperable, spending every day and night together. 3 months ago she became pregnant (it wasn't planned but we were both very happy). She miscarried the baby 6 weeks ago and also lost her job 3 days later. Since then she has been distant from me and doesn't want to see me anymore. She shows no affection and told me tonight that she thinks I should move on as she thinks it is unfair on how she feels and is treating me. She has a history of depression, being depressed 2 years ago but got better with medication. She wants to get better and knows she is depressed like last time... all she wants to do is to be alone and get lost in computer games etc. She promised me she will go to the doctor again to seek help but said she doesn't know how she will feel about me or our relationship even if she gets better. We were very happy and were talking of getting married. I know I have been the best thing that has happened to her... I treat her so well and she has said so to me before she got depressed.

My questions is what can I do for her and also how can I save my relationship? I love her so much and am in agony day and night... I think I might need helps too!

Answer

Hi, there. I'm so sorry this has happened to you and I would encourage you to get help for yourself, as you would have some support in figuring out what to do with your life, whether or not your girlfriend wants to resume the relationship. Depressed people commonly do turn away from loved ones because they feel so guilty about their state of mind or can't take the pressure of having to put on a false face for other people when they're feeling so miserable.

A while back, our community leader wrote this sharepost about depression and relationships that you might find helpful. No one can say how things will end up, but the chances are better if your girlfriend is getting the help she needs. You should take good care of yourself and try not to get too obsessed with "fixing" her because you aren't a professional and I'm guessing this depression doesn't really have much to do with you. It could have even been triggered by the miscarriage in terms of hormonal changes, and then losing her job on top of that - that's a lot to deal with.

Hang in there, give her some time, and seek some counsel for yourself. I wish you all the best.