My Husband Says That I Am The Cause Of His Depression.

Question

Asked by Joey79

My Husband Says That I Am The Cause Of His Depression.

THe last 5 weeks my husband has just snapped and told me that i have ruined his life and he hates me because i caged him up, he had no life and my insecurities have driven him away. Our relationship started to change about 6 months ago, when his mother moved in with us and our sex life became non existent, which rightly or wrongly made me feel insecure about a few things and now he is so angry, he tells me he doesn't like me and that i can never change so he won't want to be with me. He has been to the doctor and was perscribed Amitriptyline. His mother is moving out on saturday and he said we need to seperate so he can sort himself out. I don't know what to do....

Answer

I'm sorry, Joey, that your husband is taking out his anger on you. Unfortunately, people with depression often do that and a lot of the time, it's misplaced anger about something else or themselves. Here is a link to a post by one of our experts, Deborah Gray, on surviving with a depressed spouse. You can also look through various share posts for this topic because it comes up a lot.

The main thing is that you take care of yourself and not get depressed, too. Perhaps his medication isn't working any more, or as effectively. You could call his doctor and explain what's happening so that the next time he sees him/her, the doctor can ask about that. Does he have a therapist? Going with him to see one could be another possibility, if he's in a receptive enough mood to agree to it. Here is another link to a post by John D., who talks about being a depressed spouse and has suggestions, as well, for understanding it.

Maybe a break is what he needs, I can't say, but I think some professional help might be warranted for the sake of your relationship. I wish you the best and hope things work out. You can write here again any time.