I Fell In Love With My F*%^ Buddy

Patient Expert

I was asked a question the other night while hanging out with friends at The Standard Hotel. One of them asked me "Is it possible to fall in love with your f*%^ buddy?"

Now for some Americans, it's called a booty call. In London, they always call it what it is: a f*%^ buddy.

So I thought long and hard about my answer, and I've come to this conclusion: I think it is possible to fall in love with anyone.

Here is the problem though with falling in love with your f*%^ buddy. A person is usually a f*%^ buddy because they are someone you really can't picture dating.

A f*%^ buddy is usually a man or woman to whom you were only mildly attracted, but at the time you met them you were extremely sex starved. Because if you were very attracted to them, they wouldn't have been your f*%^ buddy, they would have been someone you would have tried to date.

If you ask any man or woman to describe their f*%^ buddy, they will most often describe somebody who is "just okay" and not exactly their type, but someone with whom they share the same mutual desire for humping at night. They are basically someone who is convenient to take the edge off while you are trying to find your next relationship.

Sometimes in life, however, shit happens. All of a sudden you find yourself starting to fall for your booty call.

So, let's talk about some general guidelines for a booty call:

  1. Never be seen in public with your booty call. It's your secret. It's like having that secret stash under your bed as a kid, so that when your mom punished you with no dessert you still had a few of rolls of Skittles ready to chew down.

  2. None of your friends ever meet your booty call.

  3. Your booty call is the first person you drunk text around midnight on a Friday night after you've gone out looking for people to date.

  4. Never invest precious prime time cell phone minutes on a booty call. It's all done after midnight or on weekends.

  5. Sometimes they stay the night, but most of the time you treat it as if you're paying for a hotel room by the hour.

  6. When dating someone else, you are open and honest about it with your booty call, and you put them on booty call reserve.

  7. The booty call is usually the first person you see when your new relationship ends, whether or not you reconnect with your amazing f*%^ buddy.

So even with all these guidelines, which by the way are not set in stone, there is that small possibility that you might actually fall in love with Mr. Or Ms. BC. I personally have never fallen for a bc.

If you do actually fall in love with your booty call, how do you handle it? This is important to know, because the world changes when you are actually humping with feelings. You no longer will be satisfied with the dine-and-dash mentality.

So if you are no longer satisfied with the dine-and-dash mentality, you need to have "the talk." You need to sit down with your booty call during daylight hours at a neutral location where neither one of you can paw one another. Then you need to be straightforward and honest, and tell them that you are developing feelings.

I know this woman who one time fell for her booty call, and she just kept banging her buddy so that she wouldn't "rock the boat." She ended up getting really hurt in the end.

So if you're falling for you fb or your bc, then I suggest you htt (have the talk). The question of the day to all of you is this: Have you ever fallen for a fb or a bc? Have you then htt?