Question
Asked by Hypno
I Am Interested To Know What Triggers Your Suicidal Thoughts?
I am interested to hear from people their experience of what triggers their change from depressive mood to suicidal thoughts..... and back out of suicidal thoughts!!!!
Let me know because it's something I've been puzzled by on some occaisions. At other times I think it's a signal to STOP, REST do nothing for a while and then move out of the depression.
Would be interested to hear your views.
Hypno
Answer
Hi there
I think this is an excellent question to explore and it could help others here.
It is hard once you are out of that type of thinking and mental state to revisit it...but I will try.
I believe that there is always some sort of trigger. For me...it is usually some type of loss. I can distinctly remember one time I felt suicidal was after I had a miscarriage. I was having trouble in all areas of my life...feeling lost...and then I lost my baby. I felt like damaged goods...that I wasn't even good enough to carry a baby and that my baby had abandoned me. I recall calling my therapist and saying things like..."I want to be with my father and my baby." My father was long gone and had died when I was a little girl. So in essence I was thinking of ending my life.
I was put on an antidepressant at this time...I was so resistant...but it was the appropriate thing to do. It helped to get me over that really bad time. And grieving helped...I didn't know to do it. Crying...helped so much.
What brought me back? Hope. Hope that I could begin again...try again not to replace the baby I had lost but to...begin my life again. I think it was a wake up call too as to what was really important to me. I was so into career and school and getting ahead...this life changing event told me...I was ready to have children. I was ready to give love. I re-focused from all the pain. I knew more than ever the direction I wished to take with my life.
Oh my that was hard to write!
Thank you though...for asking this question. I am really hoping others will contribute here.