When you first look at a man and a woman, you are able to notice the subtle differences between the sexes. It is when the two sexes communicate with each other, however, that the differences become truly glaring. This is because one is speaking "he talk" while the other is speaking "she talk."
Where this difference really becomes a problem is when you are in a relationship, and you need to know how to combine "he talk" and "she talk" into "we talk." So I feel like it’s my job as a man and as a dating coach to help all the women learn how to understand "he talk" (or "man talk" as I like to call it), so that they won’t need to hire a translator to understand what men are saying.
Women always want men to express their feelings. They always complain "Why can’t he just say he loves me?" or "I wish he would just compliment me more."
What you need to pay attention to and realize, though, is that men do tell you they love you and compliment you . . . they just do it using their own language. Men, in fact, sometimes don’t use words at all when they are communicating with you.
This will help you understand men’s verbal and non-verbal language. Sometimes it’s not what men say, but it’s their actions that are significant. It is necessary for women to learn to interpret men’s very roundabout way of communicating with them.
Here are ten things that men say and do, and what they really mean:
1. He starts talking about how crazy all his single friends’ lives are, and then he tells you that he doesn’t miss it at all. What most women will think if they hear this, is that he misses those days. This is not true. He says this because he is looking for confirmation that you feel exactly the same way. He also wants to communicate that he’s ready to take the relationship to the next level.
2. Since you recently took him to your family’s house for dinner, he can’t stop talking about how much fun he had with your brother. What he means here is that he really likes your family, and wouldn’t mind being a part of your family.
3. He teases you a lot about things like how clumsy you are or about how you put smiley faces in every one of your emails. What he’s really telling you when he does this is that he really likes you a lot. Remember that men are just giant boys . . . we tease the ones we love and ignore the ones we don’t.
4. A man tells you he needs his space. So what does this mean to you? It means that you need to ignore him and not call him. Men love the chase. By not calling him, he’ll start calling you and wondering what happened.
5. A man says that he really wants you to meet his parents. What does this mean in man talk? He’s telling you that you are his girlfriend, and that he is ready to take it to the next level by getting you involved with his family. This brings us right to the next bit of "man talk."
6. When a man calls you and says "I want you meet my friends on Friday night," this is as big as meeting his parents. He’s introducing you to his pack. It means that he thinks you are hot and sexy, and he wants to show you off to his friends.
7. After sleeping over his house several times, he tells you that the next time you sleep over you should bring some things to make you feel more comfortable and a change of clothing. In man talk, that is basically telling you that he’s wondering what it would be like to live with you. He also wants your things around.
8. You have plans with him on a Sunday, and you find out that he passed up floor seats to his favorite basketball team to keep those plans with you. What does that tell you in man talk? It tells you that he’s hooked … and that you are his girlfriend.
9. He is watching one of your favorite shows on a night you’re not together, and he calls you afterwards to talk about it. In man talk, what does this mean? By doing this, he’s telling you that he pays attention to you, and he is interested in learning more about you and sharing more things with you. Men generally do not choose to watch Project Runway on their own. If we’re watching your tv shows, we REALLY like you.
10. He tells you "I’ve cleaned today." What this means in man talk is "I spent the day doing something I dislike more than anything." You need to realize that when a man says this to you, he really likes you. To most men, cleaning the house is just about the WORST way he can spend a day.
Once you understand the hidden language and actions of man talk, you’ll become far more secure in your dating and relationships. So the next time you go over to your man’s house and he looks at you and says "I cleaned today," you’ll know that he really meant to say "I must really like you, because I can ignore my mess most of the time."
David Wygant is an author and relationships expert who wrote about sexual health and relationships for HealthCentral.