Ms Has Ruined Everything I Valued. Why Should I Even Bother?

Question

Asked by Kim

Ms Has Ruined Everything I Valued. Why Should I Even Bother?

Why should I bother living when I know my future with ms is bleak at best. I'd rather die than live how I do and probably will. What's the point, really? I feel useless and infected, and I hate life.

Answer

Kim,

Although I'm 10 years older than you are right now, I think that we have much in common. I too was diagnosed only 4 short years ago. I used to tell folks that the 1st year post-dx was the hardest and that the emotional rollercoaster got easier after that. Actually I still tell people that, but I have since learned that every relapse or bump in the road sends me into the dark world of uncertainties, rage, sorrow, fear, depression, etc.

Even little minor bumps which resolve in short time (like the one I experienced at my brother's house recently) send me into an emotional heap. I hate this disease.....but even with that strong distain for it, I know that life will still be good. I am lucky to have a boyfriend who supports me and am able to do freelance work (music and writing) which keep me as busy as I desire.

Counseling really can help, if you find a therapist with whom you gel. It takes time to develop that type of relationship but it can be done. With my therapist, when my insurance coverage ran out, she even made a deal with me on cost. The offer she gave couldn't have been beat by anyone else.

I hope that we have helped you somewhat. Please know that there are others your own age who are going through the same feelings regarding MS and life. Heck, what am I talking about, age doesn't matter when it comes to hating this disease. But we all learn how to live with it and enjoy life in the process.

BTW, antidepressants and counselling have been priceless along my own journey. They truly do help.