My mom had major surgery to save her life this year. I was fortunate to be able to be by her and my dad’s side. That’s a true gift - I was able to experience moments of love and grace with my mother and father that I will cherish and keep with me forever. Other gifts were given to me through the experience, as well.
One was through a yoga session with the owner of the new yoga studio across the street from my parents’ building. It was a Baptiste practice - one that encouraged staying in a pose past the point you thought you could - just to see what would happen. Her premise (promise?) being that we are stronger than we think we are. And that beauty often comes through in the “breakdown” (cue the song “Let Go” by Frou Frou).
Her exact words: “What is holding you back? See if you can break through - what would happen if you could push past whatever that holding point is.”
And, ever the good student, I did what I was told. And had a breakthrough I realized that so much of what has been holding me back from living fully as who I am intended to be is fear of not being good enough - not being enough. Not enough to be loved, or to truly love myself.
So I can bury (and have buried) these feelings by doing. And doing some more. Achieving. Proving (my worth).
After the class, another gift: I noticed that a Baptiste book was for sale at the studio (40 Days to Personal Revolution). Ooh, I thought: I could use some of that; and, in only 40 days? YES! So I bought it and brought it home with me.
One of the quotes from the book is Baptiste himself saying that his ultimate gesture of faith is having no goals at all. Interesting. This to a Type-A like me is crazy talk.
But I’ve been reflecting on that quite a bit in my own 40 days. I’ve come to realize that there is a bunch of truth in this, with some modifications for my own circumstances. I do love goals! But my real goal, I am realizing, is to become more of who I really am; who God made me to be. So, how will I set about that as a good Achiever would?
By doing less, listening more. Taking care of myself so that my authentic nature can safely emerge. Here are specific steps on my agenda:
-Sleep (for me, this is at least 8 hours)
-Eat well (nutritious foods every few hours)
-Exercise vigorously within reason (for me, this means about 20 minutes of running hard)
-Meditative movement (for me, this means yoga)
-Mindful meditation (sitting quietly post-inspirational reading)
Those are my basics and frame up my evolving perspective on life, as the song “Let Go” sings out to us: If I can “let go, jump in.” I will find that, indeed, there is “beauty in the breakdown.”
For even more tips on how to get better health and need the health care system less, check out: The New Prescription: How to Get the Best Health Care in a Broken System by Dr. Cynthia D. Haines, M.D. (Dr. Cindy Haines) and Eric Metcalf, M.P.H. This is a book about getting what you really want: better health on your own terms.