I Need To Learn To Cry. Crying As A Form Of Release Has Been The Topic Of Discussion With

Question

Asked by dumbunny

I Need To Learn To Cry. Crying As A Form Of Release Has Been The Topic Of Discussion With

my therapist and doctor. They say how it is good to cry but during my sessions, I get teary-eyed but will not cry. I really believe a good cry would make me feel better, somewhat of a release, but I just shut the tears down. I've never liked crying in front of anybody but with this anxiety and depression, now I wish I could. I can feel my jaw tightening to help me hold back. I believe my therapist notices that as well as my neck muscles and she says she sees the pain in my face. My therapist takes me back to childhood when I would cry at nothing. My father would ask what I was crying about and I''d say "I don't know", then he would tell me he'd give me something to cry about, and I do remember stopping crying because I didn't want a spanking. I have a hard time showing any kind of emotion and a lifetime of having nearly no emotions has finally come to a head, with anxiety and depression. My parents seldom showed any emotion, never told us they loved us, but yet I felt we were a close family, just never talked about emotions or feelings. Does any of this make sense and how can I learn to cry? What is wrong with me?

Answer

This is a really excellent topic for discussion and I do agree with a lot of what Paul has said below. Basically you have learned your whole life that crying is a bad thing. So this is something really hard to unlearn.

We cry for so many reasons...not just out of sadness but sometimes out of anger, out of frustration, and sometimes even due to joy. Crying isn't something you can just produce out of thin air unless you are acting and even then actor and actresses have to dig deep within themselves to produce tears.

I say go with what is natural to you. Not everyone cries a whole lot.

I had this problem in my therapy sessions as a young adult. I didn't cry in therapy maybe for an entire year or more. I would tell the saddest stories but robotically and sometimes I would even smile. It was hard for me to connect my feelings with my words. I think instead of focusing on the act of crying...perhaps try to feel whatever you truly feel...as you talk about your life...and as you experience things. I think a good goal would be to just to connect with your feelings whatever they may be.

Trust is also a factor here. You neeed to trust your therapist. You also need to trust yourself. I think some people feel that if they cry that they may never stop as the well of pain is so deep. You may be protecting yourself against that torrent of emotion.

Another idea is to watch a movie or read a book which may produce some emotion and see what happens. If you feel weird crying in front of others...watch the movie alone and just allow yourself to emote.

I am so glad you asked this question and I hope this helps some.

Answered by Merely Me