Is It A Normal Behaviour For My Mother To Be Angry And Miserable All The Time.

Question

Asked by Terri

Is It A Normal Behaviour For My Mother To Be Angry And Miserable All The Time.

She only acts that way towards my father and me. If someone she knows comes to the door or if she is talking to someone on the phone she totally puts on this happy face and is nice then as soon as that person leaves she turns back into this nasty, miserable person towards us. It is very stressfull, it is so hard to be nice to her and not say things back to her when she is constantly angry. She says we are the ones with the problem, she says that we hide things from her that she can't find and she acts like she doesn't want me there. She will not accept help with anything, she thinks she knows everything and she is right about everything.

Does this part of it get better as she progressively gets worse . . I hate to say that.

Answer

Individuals with Alzheimer's disease tend to experience increased confusion and disorientation, which can influence their perception of reality. Judgment is also likely impaired, and this makes it difficult to distinguish between right from wrong. It is not uncommon for the individual to take his or her aggression out on even the closest family members, as you have witnessed with your mother. It is important to remember that these kinds of behaviors are due to a disease of the brain that causes your mother to act differently, which can, of course, be heartbreaking and distressing. Try not to take these outbursts personally; rather, continue to make efforts to provide the same care, love and support. It is recommended that you try to remain calm and patient, and perhaps also find ways for both you and your father to unload some of the intense emotions brought on by the caregiving role, such as through a support group. Lastly, it is always important to bring up these issues with your mother's physician, as there may be underlying causes contributing to these behaviors, such as depression, anxiety, medication side effects or physical pain.