My Partner Has Admitted To Feeling Depressed & Suicidal. Want To Support Him But He Wont Allow Me To

Question

Asked by Nic1980

My Partner Has Admitted To Feeling Depressed & Suicidal. Want To Support Him But He Wont Allow Me To

My partner has admitted to feeling depressed, suicidal and does not want to continue. He has had a family trauma which I believe to be the trigger. In turn he has ended the relationship. We have been together for 5 years. He said he needs to concentrate on himself and can't give me what I deserve at the moment. He said he thinks we still have a future and he will always love me but needs time to himself to recover. Is this normal? I am lost and don't understand why he is shutting me out. All I want to do it help him and support him but he won't allow me to do so. He has moved out and is staying with friends. I can't afford the apartment by myself so I now need to find somewhere else to live. Our lives are being turned upside down. Why will he let his friends support him but not me? I have been reading about depression and all the symptoms are there but also read that people need support... I am in pieces. Only a few months ago we were talking about getting engaged... How can I think about a future with him when he is hurting me so much? My heart is breaking.

Answer

Hi, there. Unfortunately, this is not uncommon and this question has come up a lot recently on this site. Here is a link to a share post by John Folk-Williams concerning this very thing. Sometimes people shut out the ones who mean the most because they feel self-hate and guilt, which is the depression talking. I think you should try just giving him a little space and see what happens. Is he getting any help at all? If not, hopefully, he will. He might be stuck in grief over the family trauma he experienced. Whatever the reason, he's probably feeling pretty badly about it. I hope this sharepost helps you and that you'll feel free to write here again and let us know how you're doing. You don't have to put your life on hold if you don't want to, but I'm sure you're hoping he will get back to his old self. I wish you all the best.