I will keep this brief. The last three days have been rough. I have been weathering a fierce depression. My way of dealing with it has been to submit, to burrow under the covers and let it wash over me until it loses its force.
In a day or two, I expect to gain the upper hand, but I’m not there yet.
This is a side of me no one ever sees. Like many of you, I wear the mask well. So much so that people find it hard to believe that depression is my constant traveling companion.
It’s 11:30 in the morning as I write this. I just managed to drag myself out of bed and make myself a tea. I’m giving breakfast a miss. Pretty soon, I’ll crawl back into bed. If you’re wondering what it feels like - someone has pulled the plug, the power has gone down, my neurons have gone off-line. I am in pajama bottoms and slippers and I’m walking with a shuffle.
Who knows? Maybe next week I’ll be the life of the party. Maybe I’ll have forgotten all about my depression, or even what my depression was like. But right here, right now - boy oh boy.
To those of you experiencing depression right now - you’re not alone. I’m right here with you. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself. I will do the same. Let’s pull through this together.
This is John McManamy, reporting live from my depression …
Author and Advocate