Can I Have Unprotected Sex Even Though I Have Genital Herpes?

Question

Asked by T.Marie

Can I Have Unprotected Sex Even Though I Have Genital Herpes?

My partner has came to the reality and acceptance of my diagnose of Genital Herpes. I do praise him for staying with me when i broke this news to him. He complains about using a condom all the time and hates having to change and put on change and put on. I have a deep feeling that he is going to cheat on me if we continually have to used condoms. What can I do? Can i have unprotected sex?

Answer

Hi T.Marie,

Thanks for your question, it's an interesting dilemma. I also have herpes and understand your situation.

There is no law that says you can't have unprotected sex if you have genital herpes. In fact, if you plan on settling down and having kids someday, there will come a time when you will intentionally have unprotected sex.

It is only morally wrong to have unprotected sex when your partner doesn't know you have herpes. Since your partner knows, is willing to accept the consequences, and is keen on ditching the condoms, the only question now is whether you trust him. By having unprotected sex, you could be putting yourself at risk of getting any STD he may have, so don't forget to think about yourself and your own health. Are you comfortable with not using a condom?

If you are both aware and okay with the risks involved of unprotected sex, then there's really nothing to stop you from doing it. But bear in mind it is very possible he can get herpes, and you are at risk as well.

I recommend you check out the Herpes Transmission, Prevention, and Dating and Relationships pages for more information.

PJ

Answered by Penelope James