Whenever I Watch Movies Or Read Books, I Get Depressed Afterwards. I Can't Figure Out What Is Wrong.
Originally asked by Community Member AndieR
Whenever I Watch Movies Or Read Books, I Get Depressed Afterwards. I Can’t Figure Out What Is Wrong.
I have had a serious depression problem my entire life. I have learned to cope with it, and my doctor put me on two different anti-depressants. I have been taking the two medications for about four years now. I feel like they help a little bit, but I still have a hard time coping with my depression. I have to work extremely hard to be consistent and to continue my daily activities. Most people don’t even realize I have a depression problem because I work so incredibly hard to remain “as normal as possible”.
The past four years on my depression medication have been a little easier, but I still feel like I have to go through great pains to keep my life going and not just quit everything. So I started looking through articles about depression to see if I could find some suggestions that could help me. Someone suggested that I take some time out of my daily life to do something I enjoy, such as reading a book or listening to music.
So I started reading, writing poetry and novels, composing music, painting, and occasionally having a movie night. I thought these things would help, but they made the problem worse. I have no idea why. I get so caught up in a novel or a movie or my music, and when it is over I get extremely sad or upset or angry, more so than I used to before I began my medications. Whenever I do something I really enjoy, it makes me so depressed; I can physically feel my body in pain. Its almost as if I believe the characters are real, and I feel like I am missing out on something, like it reminds me that I am completely insignificant. Or when I listen to music, I get so wrapped up in my own world and I become hyper-sensitive to everything, to the point that I can’t get through the day without having some serious problems, like crying or hyperventilating.
Why am I having such a hard time doing the things I actually enjoy? I love reading and writing and watching movies. So how come, during and after I do those things, I get so upset? Why do I become so attached to things/people that are not real, and how come I can listen to upbeat music I love, yet it makes me so utterly depressed I almost can’t function? I can not figure out what is happening to me, or why I seem to react so adversely to the activities I am good at or enjoy.
I want to talk to someone about this. I want to discuss this with a psychiatrist, but I feel like it is so strange. I have a hard enough time even admitting I have a depression disorder, I guess I feel like if I go talk to someone about this (activities I love making me depressed, something that was originally suppose to help me) they will not understand. I am completely frustrated and feel helpless. I do not want to quit doing the activities I love, but I hate that they make me so depressed. I am worried that if this continues I will fall back into my old patterns and destroy everything I have worked so hard for the past four years.
What is wrong with me, why are these activities I love making me so depressed? And how can I stop feeling like this?
Well…without being a therapist I can only offer my experience and thoughts.
I am wondering what sorts of movies, music, and books you are watching, listening and reading. I know for me…there are times when I just can’t handle certain types of input because my emotions will be triggered too easily. There are months that go by for example, where I can’t stand any music. I won’t even play the radio as it is…too much. And there are times when I cannot concentrate on a movie or a book. Moods really affect the things you enjoy. Normally I enjoy these things but if I am in a certain mood…the extra stimulation doesn’t help.
Also…I am wondering if your emotions are right on the surface and ready to be expressed and these elements…bring them out. It isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes you need to cry but it gets stuck…and a good movie can bring the emotions out.
I think you need to rediscover what is right for you at any given time. Maybe sometimes you just need quiet and solitude. And other times…you may enjoy a movie, music or books. And maybe it all depends upon your choices. If I am feeling overly emotional…I like funny books or non-fiction books.
Sorry for babbling but this was a great question. I hope others chime in as well. And it probably wouldn’t hurt to discuss this with a therapist too. They might have some ideas for you.
Thank you for your question!
You should know Answers to your question are meant to provide general health information but should not replace medical advice you receive from a doctor. No answers should be viewed as a diagnosis or recommended treatment for a condition.
Answered by: Merely Me