Question
Asked by nat
Why Does My Boyfriend Lie To Me About Watching Porn?
My boyfriend lies to me about watching porn. It's not so much the porn that I am upset about, though it does bother me slightly, even though I watch porn sometimes, too. It's the fact that he can lie to my face and tell me he's looking at pictures and videos I have sent him, when he's actually watching porn. We have discussed it in the past, and I told him I understand if he watches porn and told him that since we have been together I have sometimes watched also, but he claimed that now that we live together he doesn't watch porn anymore. He says that I satisfy him completely (we have sex at least once a day) and that when I am not around my pictures and videos are his material of choice. Why would he lie about that? I was using the computer and clicked on the history and found a movie he had been watching last week. My main question is why is he lying about it and claiming that he is looking at pictures of me, when I have told him that I will not be mad if he is watching? Also, is the lying something that I should confront him about? We are completely open and honest with each other about everything else. I fear that if I confront him about the lying about porn he will turn it into being about the porn, rather than about the lying, which is not the case. Also, he will be upset that I looked through the history on his computer, that I don't trust him about it - well, apparently I have reason not to trust him. I am afraid that he will turn this around on me and say I shouldn't have been going through his stuff. I want to know why he's lying and whether or not I should confront him about it. Please help..
Answer
Well Nat
I wish I could say snooping around like that is justified because you found something but it really isn't. Would you want him to do that to you? He probably doesn't want to tell you because he is afraid to tell you. You have to make it safe for him to discuss these things.
There are many different viewpoints on men watching porn. Here is one viewpoint from a woman and here is an opinion from a man on why they do this.
If it is there, they are going to look at it. Men are visual creatures. I wouldn't take it personally. You could confront him about the lying but do be prepared that he will be upset about your snooping.
Good luck to you...I hope things go well.