I'm A 20 Year Old Female With No Life No Friends

Question

Asked by cj

I'm A 20 Year Old Female With No Life No Friends

and doesn't even have one friend.

i have tried psychotherapy and that didn't go anywhere that just made me feel like a freak i have been on someny anti dpressint it's not funny and none of them work people don't like me adn please don't tell me to go to groups because every one has someone they know and i'm social awked and i don't know what to do

any help

Answer

Hi, CJ -

I'm sorry that you're going through this - but also glad that you've reached out here. I can't tell a whole lot from you've written, but I know what it's like not to be able to make friends are relate to people in groups. When I've been depressed - and that covers a lot of years with a severe case - I've often said and done things with people that put them off when I'm trying to come across as friendly. A remark I think is amusing comes out with a cutting edge or sounds like an insult or tells someone I'm too wrapped up in myself. Or I'm feeling so bad I just try to disappear, say nothing, avoid everyone - obviously don't connect. In a group of people I know with even one stranger, I'd be completely anxious and self-conscious, trying too hard to make a good impression and falling flat.

All that usually came from believing I was stupid, worthless, inept when depressed. Or if I was an a manic surge, I'd be overdoing everything - in either case not really able to focus on anyone else and see them on their own terms.

It sounds like you may not have been diagnosed properly. Antidepressants don't work for lots of people - and often that's because there's more going on than simple depression. I would go to a psychiatrist, lay out what you're feeling and thinking and ask for a diagnosis. A lot of doctors reach for the antidepressant prescription too quickly. It's also important, as Judy says, not to expect that something as complicated as what you're experiencing will be taken care with medication alone.

Here's you feel better soon.

John

Answered by John Folk-Williams