8 Ways to Reclaim Romance With Chronic Pain This Valentine's Day

by Celeste Cooper, RN Health Professional

Keeping any relationship moving forward can be a challenge, particularly if one or both partners are confronted with chronic pain. But there are ways we can nurture and promote companionship with the one we love this Valentine’s Day.

Dinner? It’s a date

Date night usually means dinner is often involved. So, make a reservation at a special restaurant. Not feeling up to getting out? Take a rain check for a time when both of you will enjoy it. Or, get take out from a new place and enjoy the experience at home together.


What would Valentine’s Day be without chocolate? Turns out there is “sweet news” that chocolate has health benefits.

Coupling with quiet time

Turn off your cell phone, check pain talk in the coat closet, get a babysitter, watch a movie. There is a certain quality in sharing time and space quietly. It’s as comfortable as wearing an old shoe.

Essential oils

Though predominately used in holistic medicine, some science suggests essential oils are therapeutic. In aromatherapy or massage, certain oils help certain things, such as lavender for relaxation, rosemary to stimulate our minds and help with muscle aches, or clary sage to aid sleep and relieve pain. Here’s an easy-to-read infographic on the topic.

* Massage

There is evidence that massage helps our physical pain, and we know the power of human touch. So, for this Valentine’s Day, why not cruise the internet to find a massage tool, electronic massage devise, or massage oils. Share intimate therapeutic moments that strength your bond. *Massage is not safe for everyone; please consult your doctor first.

Plan a get-away

Chronic pain can lead to feelings of isolation, and the antidote is to get away. Whether it’s reading a book by a pool, enjoying an all-inclusive beach resort or anything in between, there are ways to have a relaxing vacation with chronic pain. Start your plans and enjoy the anticipation together.

Sex: Fulfilling our erotic nature

HealthCentral’s health guide, Lene Anderson, tells us, “sex puts a smile on our face, gives us a bit of a cardio workout, connects us, improves our self-esteem and can even make our skin healthy!” See what else she has to say in her Sharepost, How To Have Satisfying Sex Despite Chronic Pain.

Acceptance and commitment

This Valentine’s Day, follow the “Keys to Successful Relationships.” Be accepting and patient with each other. Commit to your relationship. Recognize your partner’s and your needs and communicate them. Listen to each other. Own your mistakes, practice the gift of forgiveness, and most importantly, love one another.

Final thoughts

"The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds."

— Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook

Celeste Cooper, RN
Meet Our Writer
Celeste Cooper, RN

Celeste Cooper, R.N., is a freelance writer focusing on chronic pain and fibromyalgia. She is lead author of Integrative therapies for Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and Myofascial Pain and the Broken Body, Wounded Spirit: Balancing the See-Saw of Chronic Pain book series. She enjoys her family, writing and advocating, photography, and nature. Connect with Celeste through Twitter @PainedInkSlayer.