Surviving and Thriving: Returning to Emotional Equilibrium After Cancer
PJ Hamel | Aug 15, 2017
Once you finish active cancer treatment, there can be a real emotional letdown. The medical team that’s rallied around your cause is gone; you might suddenly feel deserted and scared. How do you handle your feelings of abandonment? How do you move forward? Making a successful transition from patient to survivor is all about emotions — and it’s an important step in discovering and accepting your “new normal.”
You’re not alone
Even though you’re not seeing him or her regularly, you’re still under your oncologist’s care. Your doctor has no doubt mapped out a plan for your further treatment; it’s just that rather than weekly appointments, the treatment is “Let’s see you every six months to make sure everything’s OK.” Don’t hesitate to call if you’re not feeling right, or have questions about your continuing recovery. That’s what the doctor is there for: to make sure you stay well.
Believe you’re well
Embrace the belief that your cancer is gone. Breast cancer is very curable these days; according to the American Cancer Society, the overall survival rate for breast cancer is 86 percent — and that includes even the most advanced cases. The National Cancer Institute’s SEER statistics reveal a relative five-year survival rate of nearly 99 percent for the more than half of all survivors diagnosed with localized breast cancer. Who wouldn’t like those odds?
Exercise does you a world of good physically, but it’s also key to your emotional health. When you exercise, your body releases a chemical called endorphin; a number of studies have shown endorphins can reduce depression, as well as relieve pain and produce euphoria (the famous “runner’s high”). But you don’t need to go to the gym to exercise; simply taking a long walk outdoors can be a wonderful stress-reliever. Take a deep breath and look at the sky. How can you not feel calm?
Pre-cancer, you probably rushed from one activity to the next, ticking off items on a to-do list that never seemed to get any shorter. During cancer treatment, there are undoubtedly some responsibilities you dropped; do you really have to pick them up again? It’s super-easy to slip back into old habits; change dies hard. But if doing less laundry, ditching your spot on the town historic committee, or getting up 15 minutes later will make you happy, then make them happen!
Offer a hand
Now that you’ve successfully navigated the cancer journey, why not share your experience with those just starting out? Think of everything you’ve learned, from the reality of hair loss to the best source for mastectomy swimwear. Find out if your hospital has a support group or “buddy” program you can join, and make the time to do it. You’ll find helping others helps yourself.
Make gratitude your attitude
There’s not much you can ultimately control in your life. But you absolutely can work to control your attitude. How often do you feel grateful? Probably not often enough, especially given what a good feeling it is. If you think you don’t have much to be thankful for, reset the bar. The sun rising, being alive, knowing that there are innocent children in the world — all of these can be cause for gratitude if you decide they are.
Don’t fall into old (bad) habits
Your “new normal” is the perfect opportunity to drop old emotional habits and embrace a new, more positive way of life. If you’ve always been a “glass half empty” person, flip your perception. Do you set the emotional bar too high, and then get angry when friends and family fail to love and support you as you expect? Lower your expectations. We’re all human, doing the best we can with the cards we’ve been dealt. Show love to those around you; the rest will take care of itself.
Get professional help
There’s nothing wrong — and much that’s right — with seeking help from a mental health professional when you need it. If you simply can’t get past the funk you fell into during or after cancer, a doctor can determine what course of treatment might help. Behavioral therapy can alter negative patterns in your life; antidepressants can restore the chemical balance in your brain that chemo might have helped destroy. No guilt, all gain. Go for it.
Don’t beat yourself up
Finally, are you scared or sad to see treatment end — and feeling guilty about it? It’s not unusual to miss an established, safe routine, even when that routine involved fatigue, sickness, and fear. Accept what you feel, and recognize it for what it is: a natural reaction, one that many people have, and one that, with time, you’ll get past.