If your loved one has lost the ability to make reasonable choices, you may have to make the choices for him. But there are options for choice. You could say to your loved one, “Would you like to shower now or after breakfast?" or, “Do you want to start with your potatoes or your beans?” Also, “Do you want the soft lights on while we visit the bathroom or do you prefer the bright ones?” Too many choices might confuse your loved one. But the illusion of a choice, no matter how small, can help provide a feeling of dignity.